2009-06-11 - 11:37 p.m.
#Also, :
Tonight, after work, I sat by the phone in the front office and tried to think of who I wanted to call. I don't want to talk about that anymore.
I ran to Berkley's house and then we went for a jog together. It started raining on my way there so that by the time I arrived at Berkley's house everything was wet. We jogged at dusk where the light from the sun makes everything greener. The dampness on the leaves and grass, coupled with the diffused light and the spent storm clouds, made everything really pretty. So pretty. So pretty.
I wanted to make really satisfying food tonight but I am almost out of groceries. I used too much citrus in my food. It tasted too much like citrus. Lemons and limes. I had a lime from gin and tonics. I had a lemon from forever. I'd buy more gin but I think I ought not drink. I'm not sure what I should do though.
This is a nothing entry but it ought to be written anyway.
Hm. I just had a thought. Up stairs Berkley and Chris are watching a "heist" movie. While making dinner I over heard bits of it and then when I ate I sat and watched it with them until I was done eating. It seemed pretty clear that the movie was just about bad things happening. That's what the suspense was for. You knew that something bad was going to happen but you weren't sure what yet. So you sat and watch and wait to see what bad thing will happen. Anyway, while listening and then watching this movie I kept thinking how I'd rather just know what happened. I didn't feel like I needed to watch how it unfolds. I'd just as much rather know what happened at the end without having to watch them squirm. Anyway (again), my thought was that that's kind of my general mood right now. I don't really want to watch my life unfold. I feel like I'd be just as happy knowing how it turns out.
That's kind of crummy.