2018-01-29 - 1:07 p.m.
#I may have already posted this gem. Here goes again. :
“Genetic modification of bacteria allow interintestinal poop to be transformed into applesauce and cookie dough. The applesauce smells like the real stuff but don’t be fooled, it’s not edible—yet! Though the cookie dough is if you cut it up and bake it in an oven. We’re marketing it as doggie treats. They’re human-edible but people seem more comfortable feeding their own shit to their pets. Speaking of which—now through the magic of gene mods we’ve developed a new pet—our now trademarked Dongey™. The size of a donkey with the build of a dog, they make excellent work animals while being as cuddly as a pet.”
“What do people name their pet dongeys?”
“That’s capital Dongey™. The name is trademarked and we retain legal ownership of all Dongey’s™ so renaming them is strictly prohibited. We just sell the right to handle individual Dongeys™ which are all clones anyway. We only made one Dongey™ and it’s owned by us.”
“But I thought some Dongey’s had human hands? Doesn’t that make two Dongeys? One with, and one without, the forehands?”
“Oh yes, Lloyd, indeed we do make Dongeys™ with hands. But their hands aren’t strictly human, nor are they distinct enough a feature to genetically distinguish them from other Dongeys™. The hands are added through in-utero tampering. We essentially build them from monkey meat or something. Don’t ask me though, ask one of the marketing guys.”